Darth Vader (Downplayed)
|-|Vader= |-|True Self= Summary Some edgelord emo who got burned when his lover, Hormel Sausage Wang Ching Chong Calbee, sent his peepee packing and sent him tumbling down into the bouncy ball fire pit. He woke up as a cripple with a red shiny stick that's meant to take the place of his 2 and a half inch member. tl;dr, Darth Vader is shite potatoes lad, your mom could beat him up with a Kleenex box. Powers and Stats Tier: At most 10-C, 10-B, possibly higher '''with lightsaber. '''10-B with the Farce Name: Dark Father (gee, that's totally subtle as fuck) Origin: Sytoooooor Hwaaerz Gender: Male (or is he...?) Age: 50s, but is worse off than, and is twice as crippled as my 126 year old dead great grandmother Classification: A guy in a suit who burned his boo-boo in a fire-river, cried about it, screamed, "NOOOOOOOO," and then proceeded to get his parts to Sheev's microwave robot arm, which must have been at least 10 grand on the black market, cut off by some kid who grew up on a farm in Wyoming. Calls himself a "Sith" lord (If you rearrange the letters in "Sith,"...), DARK LORD AND RIGHT HAND OF EMPEROR PAPALAPATEEN, SENSED A FAINT RIPPLE OF POWER. IT WAS VEEEEEEERY SMALL SENSATION, BUT HE DID NOT dismiss it. Powers and Abilities: Terrible, low-budget, C-movie grade CGI shlock dance moves, Subhuman Physical Characteristics, Sword-Swingerer-Arounder Attack Potency: At most Below Average Human level '''normally (Is a cripple. It's debatable if he could even affect 3-D objects. Every time he moves, he has a miniature heart attack; this is why he wears the suit.) '''Human level, possibly higher '''with lightsaber. (Remember guys, bring a lightsaber to a blaster fight = you lose. Struggled to smack a seizure-having old man in his last moments of life. Later could not visualize his corpse, because of his own brain aneurysm which prevents him from understanding death.) '''Human level '''with the Farts (Choked a guy or some shit. Anyway, he fucking died against the Emperor's lightning after like 5 seconds, so don't be like "lel tutaminis" or some other bullshit like that.) '''Speed: Below Average Human level (Don't give into the bullshit people say when they tell you about how "mehmehmehmeh Sith were number here percent or times the speed of light!!!!!1!" They never moved that fast in the movies. Period. They like, hit each other with sticks and people are amazed. Seriously, this dude sucks, and everything he destroyed was a prop put there by the Emperor so that he didn't feel bad and go into some self-loathing phase.) Lifting Strength: Shite, possibly None '''(If Anakin couldn't even lift sand, which he stated he didn't like because it's coarse, rough, and gets everywhere was likely scared then likewise, Vader should remain shit at this.) '''Striking Strength: None without Lightsaber Durability: Plane level+ (Fucking died to lightning. Even a normal human can survive lightning. Hell, even bacteria can survive lightning.) Stamina: Probably couldn't last a real firefight (No kiddy blasters or whatever, use some REAL guns!) Range: The range of his glow-in-the-dark stick Standard Equipment: Darth Vader children's costume and Wal-Mart brand "lightsaber" Intelligence: High Pseudo-Intellectual Breatharian. While he may have trained the stormtroopers and the dudes who command the Death Star, they're all literally dumbasses who cannot do ANYTHING, so that speaks volumes about him as a person. Weaknesses: Everyone Sand. Others Notable Victories: Notable Losses: Doctor Doom (didn't even have to use prep time or fancy gadgets) Yoda (Had a hard time, even against a little green midget) Inconclusive Matches: Category:Fuck memes Category:Fuck Tiers Category:Star Wars Category:Star Wars Characters Category:Star wars Category:Force Users Category:Force Sensitives Category:Former Villians Category:Anti-Villains Category:Deceptive Category:Fourth Wall Breakers Category:Fourth Wall Awareness Category:Badasses Category:Badass Category:Awesome Category:Tier 10 Category:Downplay Category:Fairly minor downplay Category:Downplayed Category:Fll's Pages Category:Lame Category:Loser Category:Characters Category:"Badass" Category:Movie Characters Category:Simple Characters Category:Characters with simple actions and attitudes Category:Weaklings Category:Sith